Raven Symone Must Die
by Pip3
Summary: Raven Symone is not the antichrist, Daniel! I've decided that chapter two looks like a good ending to the story. So... it's over. Have fun. COMPLETE
1. Raven Symone is the antichrist

(I do not own Stargate SG-1 or the characters… I do not own That's So Raven , the characters, or Raven Symone. I'm not going to kill Raven Symone even though she's evil… it's just the title of the story.)

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Raven Symone Must Die

Chapter One

Jack O'Neill was sitting back on his chair, reclining with his feet on the desk. It was a loud scream that made him fall backwards.

"Ow! Dangit…. I know that scream…" He muttered. He got to his feet and started towards Daniel's office.

"Daniel!" He yelled when he entered the office. Daniel, startled, banged his head on his desk as he brought himself up. He was holding a tv remote in one hand and the batteries and battery cover in the other hand.

"I… uh… just getting the remote from under the desk."

"Daniel, you can't just scream and throw the remote at the tv every time she comes on the screen." Jack lectured.

"She's evil, Jack. I know she is. A you'll or… the antichrist or something…."

"Raven Symone is not the antichrist, Daniel!" Jack yelled.

"You'll see… I'll prove it to you…" Daniel glared.

"That's it! I'm canceling the Disney Channel on the base. We can't have you throwing remotes all the time. We've already have to replace three of them for you. No more 'That's So Raven' for you." Jack said as he left the room.

That night when Jack got home, he saw Daniel's car in front of his house.

"What the-?" He got out of his SUV and entered his house to find Daniel sitting in front of his tv.

"What are you doing?" Jack asked.

"My VCR is broken… so I set yours to record 'That's So Raven'." Daniel told him.

"When did you do that?… and Why? I thought you hated… and how'd you get into my house?"

"I do hated it… I need videos so I can study and find proof that she's evil… and I did it yesterday before you got back from the base… you really should hide your spare key in a better place."

"Daniel, you're cracked! And how did you get here before me yesterday? I left before you."

"I know a shortcut." Daniel said, distracted by rewinding the video.

"A shortcut…. To my house… that I don't know about…" Jack sighed, "I'm going to bed."

"Goodnight."

"Lock up when you leave, Daniel." Jack went to his room and fell onto his bed and fell asleep before his head hit the pillow.

End chapter one

Yes, I know it was a short chapter… but I wanted to see what ya'll think of it before I even go on… cuz if nobody likes it, then why continue posting? I can just show it to my friends instead…. Even though most of them don't care about Stargate….

So… tell me what you think.


	2. Trifecta from Hell

Disclaimer: I do not own Stargate SG-1 or the characters. I don't own Raven Symone or That's So Raven. I do not own Lindsay Lohan or Hilary Duff. I don't own the Disney Channel…. I think I covered everything so far….

Author's Notes: OK…. I had to sit with my little sister, Marissa, in the hospital overnight. She'd been in there for a few days already…. Kidney stones… they blasted them and put another stint in and then took it out… lotsa pain….etc. Anyways, I had to sit with her overnight last night and all she wanted to watch was That's So Raven. So… I had to write another chapter or I would have gone insane with murderous thoughts racing around my head. And to make things worse… now Marissa, Brianna (my other sister), and I all have to have these stupid tests to see why we keep getting kidney stones and such young ages…. Oh well… at least my mom offered to pay for this since I have no health insurance.

Anyways… onto the story!

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Raven Symone Must Die

Chapter 2

Jack awoke the next morning and this time he looked at his VCR… which was indeed set to record. He sighed and got ready to go to work at the base… hoping that today would be a better day than the one before and wondering how Hammond had ever dealt with everybody and everything that happened while he was there.

When Jack arrived at the base, he found that his hopes for a better day had been in vain. Before he even reached his office, he was confronted by Teal'c, who was concerned for Daniel's mental health.

"Daniel Jackson is acting in an extremely paranoid manner. He has held disdain for this Raven Symone ever since he started watching the Disney Channel, but I believe it has become an unhealthy obsession."

"Thanks, T… I've become aware of the situation. I'll… figure something out." Jack said. He nodded at Teal'c and excused himself to continue on his way… but he paused when he heard a familiar song coming from Daniel's room.

"… I try to save a situation, then I end up misbehaving… oh oh oh… (that's so Raven) It's the future I can see… (that's so Raven) It's so mysterious to me…"

Jack changed directions and ended up in Daniel's office, looking at a man who was at the end of his wits.

Daniel looked as if he hadn't slept all night and he had stubble on his ace as if he hadn't bothered to shave either. When Daniel looked over at him, Jack could see Daniel's eyes were bloodshot and there were dark circles underneath.

"Daniel! Dangit, don't you have more important things to do?" Jack crossed his arms.

"What could be more important than exposing Raven Symone?" Daniel asked.

"Uh… work? Your job?"

"Finished… I'm weeks ahead in my base work and have nothing else to do anyway. Besides… I think I made a new discovery…. A breakthrough." Daniel sounded excited so Jack just had to hear what Daniel thought he had discovered.

"Ok… what is this breakthrough?"

"Well, I was watching That's So Raven back to back and in between shows there was a music video by Lindsay Lohan and I-"

"Wait, wait…" Jack interrupted, "Lindsay Lohan sings? I thought she just acted." Jack sounded confused.

"No… that's just how they all start out. Raven Symone, Hilary Duff, and Lindsay Lohan. They acted for Disney and then became singers even thought they don't have that much musical talent to begin with. Well, I think that Raven, Hilary, and Lindsay are the trifecta from Hell and have come to Earth to bring the Apocalypse." Daniel explained.

Jack stood slack jawed for a minute before regaining his wits.

"Daniel, have you been feeling okay lately?"

"Never better, Jack. I feel so clear… like I've never been so clear headed before in my life."

"And when did the… clear headed-ness start?"

"What? God, Jack… don't you understand what I'm saying? These three girls will be the end of us all. Someone's got to stop them before it's to late!" Daniel was up and in Jack's face now. He was close to grabbing Jack's shirt to get his point across until Jack broke his concentration.

"I'm… going to go to my office now…. Don't come near me for the rest of the day." Jack slowly walked backwards out of Daniel's office, never taking his eyes off of Daniel's form, which had gone back to staring at the TV.

As soon as Jack reached his own office, he finally relaxed and sat down in his comfy chair.

"I really need to get that man an off-world assignment and soon."

End Chapter

So… you likee?

Me likee… me likee my own stories. Yay.


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